2011-03-31 - 9:56 p.m.

Living in the UK has made me feel like a missionary, here to dispel the myths about Americans to the European masses. I feel I have made amazing strides by putting stereotypes to rest in the last few years. But then I go to Paris, Rome or Barcelona and see a roving pack of Americans and I understand why the rest of the world hates us. To help bridge the gap I have compiled a helpful list of Dos and Don�ts for Americans when traveling outside the continental US.

1.) DO take a look around to see what other people are wearing. If you walk out of your hotel wearing shorts, trainers, a baseball cap and a backpack, you might as well be wearing an American flag toga and no underpants.
2.) DO try the food. It�s not gross, it�s just different. At least try the local cuisine� going to a foreign country and eating at KFC makes the baby Jesus cry. Oh, and if you are in Italy DO NOT compare it to the Olive Garden.
3.) Use your indoor voice and stop yelling. No one cares that you NEED TO BUY 52 KEYCHAINS for the �girls at work� or that the sandwich you had for lunch gave you the shits. Actually, this should be practiced when you come home as well.
4.) If you are traveling to a country where English is not the mother tongue DO buy a phrase book and use it. DON�T assume they speak English. Just as you would not expect the cashier at Old Navy to speak fluent Japanese, don�t expect your waiter to speak English. By the same token don�t assume no one speaks English and start slagging off the country you are in.
5.) DON�T complain about how �things are not as good as home�� If you want American culture� stay in America. Ain�t no shame in going to the Grand Canyon� I am sure there is a TGIFridays there to accommodate your needs.
6.) DO some research about the country you are visiting. Most likely they will not give a shit about the World Series so try to expand your repertoire.
7.) If using public transport DO NOT �figure it out� at rush hour. People are trying to get to work; you with your back pack are the douche bag slowing them down.
8.) If you are in England DO NOT try to speak with an English accent. You will sound like a dick.
9.) DO drink responsibly. Getting shit faced and pissing yourself after drinking 32 litres of Stella Artois does not win the hearts of the foreign ladies� it solidifies your status as an ass clown.
10.) DO be respectful of the country you are visiting. Lose the sense of entitlement... and try not to be a Griswold.

Hopefully these helpful hints will help you to not be a stereotype when traveling.

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