2005-11-11 - 4:21 p.m.

I have just returned from my annual Chicago trip with my annual Chicago trip cold. Yea me! Since I downed half a bottle of Nyquil last night I am feeling a little woozy so my thoughts are a bit jumbled and not making much sense. So I give you this:

Currently on the TV there are a series of commercial that bug the ever living shit out of me. In no particular order, here they are:
1.) K-Mart. That “I found love in a K-Mart store” song is enough to make me want to jam knitting needles in my ears and jump out of my window. What was the ad agency thinking? “You know how Wal-Mart has been cutting into our target demographic? We need to make people think of K-Mart first again. What we need is a hook to bring in more rednecks. That poncy Martha stuff just ain’t doin’ it. What do trashy people like? Hmmm. I KNOW! Get that ass clown Garth Brooks to write a song! That is how we are going to win us a CLIO!”

2.) Yoplait. The campaign that has been running for what seems like an eternity, with the two annoying girls stating how good their yogurt is. I just want to steal their script so they have to say things like, “it’s like getting a mammogram good.” Or maybe “It’s like drunk dialing your ex boyfriend and his new wife answers good…” you know what would be good? Me, smacking their heads together, leaving them unconscious and lighting them on fire good.

3.) Charmin. This campaign has been around for a while as well and every time I see it… it just winds me up. Are we supposed to believe that the ad genius’ responsible for this think that we don’t see through their “clever” answer to the age old question, “Does a bear shit in the woods?” Oh, he sure does and he uses Charmin!

4.) Holiday Inn. This is a fairly new spot that has been running about two months. It also features a craptacular country song. Scene- a father and son in a hotel. You see them eating dinner, swimming in the pool, lying on their beds watching TV. At no point is there any mention of his mother. To some it may look like a touching father and son outing, but to me… well, it looks like an ad for a place to lay low after you have kidnapped your kid on visitation day. The kid’s young, he doesn’t know that they are on the run from the law so he just thinks Dad is taking him on an adventure. He also doesn’t know that his Dad paid for the room with a stolen credit card or why his new name is Toby.

More on Monday when I can review the new show The Great American Trailer Park… the musical!

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