2005-08-03 - 12:02 p.m.

Last night I met the oddest collection of souls in a dive bar near my office. E and I popped in there for “a couple of drinks” four hours later I met a woman that told me the key to making it through your wedding without collapsing was not to make sure I eat, no she was insistent that I just have a little coke. I tried to tell her I only drink diet but she was insistent on regular Coke. Must be the sugar.

There seems to be a direct correlation between drinking and over sharing, because another woman was a bit drunk and suddenly my best friend. Within one hour I knew she had lived in the south of France with her husband that beat her and since she didn’t know enough French she had to get a job cleaning houses (and washing French people’s underwear) which did not allow her to save any money to leave him. She had to be rescued by her sister in law in the middle of the night but she is still married because she can’t afford to divorce him. I didn’t know what to say so I just asked for two more pints. What?

P has finally come up with the idea that is going to make us millions. He is always thinking that one… but I think he might be on to something here. Everytime he comes up with a new idea it contains his name in it somewhere. If he would allow me to use his name here I could tell you the best ones… anyway. Coming soon to a computer near you is P Harmony dot com. Yes, yes I know you are thinking, “Wait that sounds suspiciously like e Harmony”. But you, my friend, would be wrong. At e Harmony they have a 35 point comprehensive personality profile. P Harmony would have 36! It’s like your talkin’ cheddar when it’s clearly brie time baby!

This is brought to you by “Another Great New York Moment”.

Standing out in front of the office the other day when two cab drivers came to a stop one right in front of the other. The driver in front was a Jamaican guy and he got out first to inspect his bumper. The Pakistani driver behind gets out and starts yelling at the guy for stopping to quickly at the red light. This is the conversation that transpired:

Jamaican driver- (pointing to his eyes) You have to look. Use your fucking eyes. You have been trailing me since Canal Street.
Pakistani Driver- You don’t know how to drive. You driving like crazy man.
JD- (smacking the other cab) This is a cab not a camel. You need to use your eyes while you are driving. If you don’t stop I am going to fuck you and your family up!
PD- No you have to go back to school to learn how to use the car!

Basically it went back and forth with more of the same for about 10 minutes until…

The Jamaican driver gets back in his cab then pops back out and throws a piece of pita bread at the other guy.
An important lesson was learned that day… I “pita” da fool who rear ends me. *rim shot*

Libbyfish? Did you just post like it hasn’t been 24 days since your last one?
Yep.

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