2005-05-12 - 3:26 p.m.

Sometimes you see someone on the street and you just have to shake your head and wonder what made them look in the mirror and say, “I look good.”
I was on my way into work this morning and I saw a guy about ten feet in front of me getting off the bus wearing a giant Stetson hat and I thought it might be Renee Zellweger’s new husband but as I got closer to him I took in the whole outfit… not only was he wearing a giant Stetson he also had on skin tight jeans, a leather vest, cowboy boots and SPURS!!! Oh my god, it’s the urban cowboy on a steel horse he rides… and he might be wanted dead or alive by the fashion police. Damn, if I had my badge I would have arrested him right then and there!
This past weekend K and J came into town to keep me company while P has been away in London. Have you ever laughed so hard that your stomach feels like you did a million sit ups? That was this weekend.
I won’t bore you with the whole weekend because really, unless you were there you would just be staring at your screen right now thinking, “what the hell?” Actually one member of the weekend who was there is still thinking that (sorry M). I will however tell you about one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Well, actually I didn’t see it because I had fallen asleep but the retelling of this story makes me laugh out loud when I think about it. Wanna hear it? Here is goes…
Saturday was a very productive day, even though we had only gotten about 3 and a half hours of sleep we got up and got stuff done.* It turned out to be a really beautiful day so we decided drinking outside should commence. At some point the decision was made to go to E’s apartment and continue the party. At some point it became the libbyfish variety show and I was dancing and singing like it was my job. Then I fell asleep. At this point the party is winding down and E is blowing out the candles on her coffee table and “slipped” she insists that she slipped on a CD, but between you and I she slipped because she had consumed about ¾ of a bottle of Captain Morgan’s. Anyway, as she leaned over to blow out her red candle she face planted onto her coffee table and managed to put the candle out with her boob. When she finally stood up she looked like she had been shot in the chest. I so wish I had been awake for that because a) it’s funny as hell and b) I so would have put that sweater on and ran into her lobby yelling, “I’ve been stabbed!”
*The wedding dress is now ordered so the dreams about walking down the aisle in flannel jimmies can stop now. Thanks.
Shopping at lunch today has brought me to the conclusion that this season’s clothes can suck it! I don’t know who resurrected the bohemian style… but they should be duct taped to a lamp post on the corner of Broadway and Prince and forced to watch the horrorifying results of their work! Burlap sacks are not flattering on anyone and sewing sequins on them do not make them pretty. Oh and the other thing that winds me up about this style is everyone sounds like they are wearing tambourines. Stop with the fake coins on the belts shoes and sleeves. It’s like being at a gypsy wedding! Coincidently I went looking for a dress to wear to P’s sister’s wedding (not a gypsy) next month and I cannot find anything that doesn’t look like it once belonged to Stevie Nicks! Is it me? Does anyone else feel this way... because if I am the only one I will just shut up and not say anything until fall but if I am not alone don’t be shy step up and we can start a letter writing campaign… or something.

previous - next