2005-02-17 - 2:32 p.m.

P’s birthday was last month and for his birthday I told him I would buy him a new winter coat. The one he has is all ghetto and causes him to shiver like a scared Chihuahua when it’s below 45 degrees. We went up to Paragon sports (which was the building used in Buchman sports on Mad About You) to get him a ski coat. All that was left were puffer coats and if there is one thing P still isn’t that’s P from the block. I did however, try to talk him into a really nice women’s coat that didn’t look chick- like at all. Well, I mean except for the flowers on it, but really, who looks at that kind of thing on a guy?
Anywho, we hightail it down to the next ski shop a few blocks over, I am all a flutter because their shit is ON SALE! And if P was a size XXL or even an L we would have been in business. Apparently all the skiers/ snowboarders are mediums here in the city. Actually, I think all the skiers/ snowboarders are teenage boys which explains the lack of smallish sizes.
P has now worked himself up into a froth, “How can there be no mediums? In the whole city? And don’t talk to me about end of season. All they sell is ski shit; there is no end of season!” Ok, pipe down there pork chop, we have only been in two stores! I am trying to quickly think of any other stores that might be able to help a sister out. I had nothing. I feebly suggested some of the discount stores in the area. Partly because I genuinely thought they might have something and partly because I really wanted to check out their shoes.
We hit Daffy’s first. HOLY CATS! I think I found out where P.Diddy gets his wardrobe! Walking through the men’s department it was a sea of peach, cream and bright yellow suits. I was suddenly catapulted back to 1984 on stage with Morris Day and the Time… Jessie, uh now Jerome, Yeeeessssss (Ahem). Clearly we didn’t find anything there.
We walked a block over to Filenes’s and TJ Maxx all packaged up in one building for your discount shopping pleasure. There weren’t any coats but P picked up a very nice pair of shoes and a carry on bag at Filenes’s. Upstairs at TJ Maxx there is one lonely coat, unfortunately it was made for a man that weighs 600 pounds. Seriously, I have never seen skiwear made that big; clearly the gentleman that fits this is just going for the skier “look” not any actual excercise. While P was searching in vain for a coat I was browsing the shoes and this, gentle readers, brings us to the next topic.
Yesterday I wore my favorite shoes and like a moron wore them without socks or hose. Now, from experience I know better than to do this because (sorry for the graphic nature of this) they make my feet sweat like Shaquille O’Neal in his third overtime. After walking about 2 miles in the hunt for a coat my feet are starting to slide around in their own gravy and the hinting of blisters are upon me. At Daffy’s I thought I could stop the progress by putting on those weird little foot socks they give you at the shoe store… you know, because I am cheap and it will stop the friction. But by the time I got to Filenes’s they had shifted and were starting fresh new blisters. I started frantically looking for some cheap, yet fashionable, shoes I could buy to change into. No luck.
At TJ Maxx they had trainers for $34.00. Ok, let’s backtrack. I have not owned a pair of trainers since I was probably 16 and only then because we were required to take PE in high school. I have always fancied myself much more of a glamour girl and never bought into the jeans with sneakers look. I understand spending great big piles of cash on very pretty sandals but to spend over $60 on shoes that one would wear to the gym has baffled me. In a moment of weakness and desperation I bought them and quickly slapped them on. For the non female contingent, there is a vast difference between three inch heels and sneakers. There is a difference in your walk, your attitude and most definitely your height. I am 5’7” but have always felt more comfortable at 5’10”. Now here with flat springy soles I just didn’t look like me. In fact, as we were walking to the next store I couldn’t help but look down at my feet every so often and think that from the knee down I scream soccer mom. Not only were they trainers, they were BRIGHT WHITE ones that made me immediately think I should have hotwired the first mini van I saw and hightailed it out to Connecticut.
I don’t know about you, but whenever I buy new clothes I feel compelled to wear them the next day. So here I am in my new trainers, a zip up, t-shirt and jeans… I cannot work this look for anything. People have stopped to comment, “I don’t think I have EVER seen you in sneakers…” No, you haven’t and most likely, you never will again.

On a different note. How much do I love Project Runway? I was a little bitter and jaded that I had missed it last night because we were still out shopping at 9. I was especially irritated since I had missed last week’s show as well. I got up and did the Macarena when they replayed it at 11. Although I was disappointed that Austin was OUT last week and the cockroach that is Wendy Pepper was IN. Last night was the “reunion show” and not as scandalous as I had thought it would be, although that Vanessa chick should just be poked with a sharp stick for being so bitchy. She did an interview on Popgurls that was not well received and when questioned on it started back peddling like Lance Armstrong. She tried to tell them that her conversation was taken out of context and that the interview was done by one of her old interns. I read it today and she is very bitter about her experience on the show. She was under the impression that she was the most talented, the most loved, and the most deserving of the prize, clearly no one else felt that way. Ah well.
So as many of you know my sister is coming out here this weekend to get my ass in gear for the wedding. I phoned her this afternoon to get her flight details since I will most likely not have an opportunity to chit chat with her tomorrow. In the course of our conversation she let drop that she has to go to a funeral. A friend from college had a baby that died after only two weeks. Which is very sad indeed but she was asking me what she should bring, I just said a card maybe some flowers. She was thinking about getting them a gift card to a restaurant… now I know her thought process was as follows, “Wow, she must be totally overwhelmed with grief. I bet she doesn’t want to cook at all. Maybe they would just like to get out of the house…” But really I think that would come across as, “Man, I am really sorry that your kid died… here have some calamari on us.”

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