2005-02-11 - 3:54 p.m.

They have taken away our IM capability at work. What the hell is the matter with these people? Don’t they realize that I need to communicate with the outside world? I need to be able to waste approximately 2 hours a day IMing people with inane babble. So now I have to go back to that archaic dance of logging on to hotmail every 15 minutes to obsessively check my email. Next week my computer will be replaced with an abacus. Then after one month it will be just a stone tablet and a chisel.
Email update- about ten minutes ago I was logging onto hotmail and I instead typed in xyz @hotpants.com. HOTPANTS? What the hell is going on in my subconscious when I am not paying attention… pole dancing apparently. “Let’s have a warm welcome as libbyfish come up on stage…”

I am still not well and was so looking forward to a weekend of nothing to do. But then yesterday I get a phone call from a friend of mine that is in town for the weekend. While I am very excited to see him, I would be equally excited about seeing the inside of my eyelids tonight! But since he is here I will take one for the team and go out.
We used to work together years ago and most days would find us laughing hysterically about something. Everyone and everything was mocked, we were hated. Especially if we were laughing about bunky pants. What are bunky pants you ask… allow me to tell you the story, gather ‘round now children.
Back when I was still living in Michigan we both worked as interior designers at a very ha- cha furniture store. We were never sure why but the store used to receive a lot of mail order catalogs. Mostly there were of the LL Bean clothing type but once we received one for “feminine products”, this was our favorite because it had obscure products like the personal bidet and kegel weights. As he was flipping through it he asked me what bunky pants were used for. Uh, Bunky pants? I look at what he is referring to and it is a pair of underwear that one is supposed to use when working out during your special time of the month. They were made of an absorbent fabric developed by NASA that eliminated the need for a BULKY PAD. While the product wasn’t so much funny as it was disgusting, his blunder was hilarious to us. We had songs and commercials all devoted to the bunky pants. Think P Funk “we got the bunk… who’s got that bunk…” you know that kind of thing. The sad thing is even though this was at least 8 years ago I can call him up and sing that song and he will immediately start laughing.
So anyway, this evening there will be no rest for the ill… I guess I’ll rest when I am dead.

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