2005-02-03 - 3:46 p.m.

Conversation had with L:
L- I told her to see "Supersize Me"
Me- I still have that at home. I need to watch it
L- it's fucking brilliant - ALL of America should see it
M- I wanted to see it when it was in the theatre... but never got around to it
M- I always suggest watching one of our movies when we are eating... I don't think that is one to watch while having dinner though
L- no! But it's highly entertaining and thought provoking - hope he wins the Oscar! I'm tired of documentaries about the holocaust and retarded or blind people
M- hahahahahahaha.... well, that is the Oscar formula. If you want an Oscar you either have to make a film about a retarded blind orphan or play one
M- although you have throw in the Good Samaritan as well for supporting actor nomination
M- the one that takes in the blind retarded orphan and truly teaches him to love again

I am such a lazy bastard when it comes to getting to the movies. P and I always say we are going to see some movie, we even make tentative plans but we never go. In fact the last movie I saw was Love Actually and that was, what, over a year ago? I used to be so into going. I always made a big deal out of having to see all the films nominated. You know, just in case someone with a SAG card couldn’t vote and I was called in to pinch hit.
I have a subscription to Netflix, which is the best thing for me really. I am just not responsible enough to shake my ass down to blockbuster and return those movies in a timely fashion. This is also the reason that I have never been a friend to the library system. There is no problem reading or watching the material in the time allotted, however, I just cannot be asked to return the shit. In fact the video store near my apartment in college asked me very kindly to never rent from there again.

Ladies, ladies, ladies. This topic has been brought up on more than one occasion, but this time I mean business! Please flush the toilet when you finish. I thought this was a fairly simple request, but apparently some of you have forgotten this elementary of actions. Look, it’s this simple, if you have just emptied the contents of your colon (this also applies if you have only peed) into the bowl take the time to double check it’s not still hanging out. Flush twice if need be, there is no shame in that. I don’t ever want to have first hand knowledge that one of my co- workers had corn for dinner last night. I’m just saying.
The thing that troubles me is that this has been an issue in every office I have ever worked in. At one job it was so bad I refused to use the bathroom, I had to hop on the subway and go home. But, that got a bit tricky when I was in my 84 ounces of water a day habit. But back to the matter at hand, why do women do this? Do you do that at home? Were you really and truly born in a barn? Having never lived in a sorority house I can only speak for myself, but I do not do this at home, do you? Please, if any of you have answers to these questions please let me in!!!

Last night I think I out did myself with the BEST CLAM CHOWDER I have ever made. It was so good that I couldn’t wait for lunch and had the leftover bowl for breakfast. Yes, for breakfast. You go on and eat your scrambled eggs or your bowl of colon blow… I will take the clam chowder every time!

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