2005-02-02 - 1:00 p.m.

The problem with a monopoly is that you can never throw the “well, then cancel my service!” card. I have spent the last 40 minutes on the phone with Time Warner Cable, possibly the worst of all monopolies. That’s 40 minutes I will not get back.
In a nutshell, when P lived on his own he had them auto debit his account each month for the amount of the bill. When I moved in we opened a joint account to be used as the house account to pay all the bills. In October he rang up customer service to make the change. It seemed easy enough, all the other utilities seemed to be able to grasp the concept, but the next month they took it out of his personal account. Gah! Phone calls were made and promises of fixing the problem were made too. The next month they took it upon themselves to double dip and take money out of BOTH accounts. So he phones back and explains the whole situation to “customer service” they apologize and credit the original account but charge us $15 for the pleasure of doing so. The cheek of it!!! P calls them back explains how he is not paying for their mistake and he gets our $15 credited that day then beelines for his bank and tells them under no circumstance are they to allow any money to leave his account for Time Warner Cable. We get our bill this month and it was taken out of the correct account but there is a mysterious $15 “service adjustment” whacked on and it was double what we normally pay. WTF? Is this how they funded the new building on Columbus Circle?
This time I decided to call them. P is just too polite and quite frankly I am not sure they understand his accent. Plus, you do not want to mess with libbyfish. I get “customer service” on the horn, and ask Jamalita to explain the charges on our bill. She immediately gets snarky. SIDE BAR- what a thankless job customer service is. No on is ever going to call you and tell you what a great job your company is doing. Nothing but bitching 9-5. END SIDE BAR. Apparently they were trying to double dip again and when the P’s bank wouldn’t release the funds, they charged us $15 for NSF, never mind that they had already taken money out of the joint account to pay that month’s bill. Jamalita just kept talking in a circle about policy and how she had no authority to help me. I was seriously ready to have an aneurysm by this stage in the conversation and I lost my shit, “THEN GIVE ME SOMEONE THAT CAN FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!” Was that rude? Apparently thinking that music calms the savage beast, I was put on hold for at least 15 minutes listening to the gentle strains of Mozart. It was starting to work when “Time Warner Cable… the place to be.” interrupted the music. Place to be my ass, I have no other place to go. They are Park Place with three hotels on it!
Anywho after four supervisors got a verbal lashing from yours truly… the situation has been handled. Although I won’t know for sure until next month, you can bet your bottom dollar that if it is not someone at Time Warner Cable will get their head bashed in with my cable box!
Also Manhattan P walked out of our apartment today and saw his shadow. Damn, another six weeks of winter. This is only P's third Groundhog day but i have hope that one day, one day, he will be bigger than Punxsatawny Phil. I envision the New York City mayor knocking on our door, the press angling to get the shot of P as he Pokes his head out the door, millions of people (ok, maybe five people) stationed around our building enjoying the Groundhog day festivities... What? It could happen.

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