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2005-01-26 - 1:26 p.m. Someone in my office is treating me to an olfactory assault that rivals nerve gas. How can you just wander around in armpit funk and not do something about it. If I stink I am pretty much the first person to notice and do something about it. But my co-worker is apparently oblivious. If you look hard enough and squint you can actually see wavy stink lines exuding off of him. Remember the pee pee boy in school? Every school had one he was the kid that always smelled like pee. If you don’t remember him… chances are you could have been the pee pee boy. Mine was named Chuckie Walls. Chuckie had bright red hair, no pigment in his skin and really big ears. I mean what was his mother thinking calling him Chuckie and sending him to school smelling pee as well? She should have just called him Charlie and beat him herself, it probably would have been easier on him. On a similar note, did anyone else have a chronic nose picker? We had one and ironically her favorite color was green. Hmmmm. So this weekend New York got spanked with some snow. Thirteen inches in the city, more in surrounding areas, which caused people to lose their minds. I am originally from Michigan and piles of snow are a fact of life, you just accept the fact that there will be snow until April and you get on with it. Here people react to the threat of snow like they area awaiting nuclear fallout. Case in point, on Sunday when I went to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner there was literally nothing left on the shelves. No milk, soda, bread, water or chicken! We had decided earlier in the day that I would make a roasted chicken with mashies, hopefully not of the green variety. They had absolutely no chicken, not even those creepy tendon laden “tenderloins”. I had to go to three stores just to find us something to eat! I was hunting and gathering all over the Upper East Side! Which is not an easy feat in thirteen inches of snow… wait a minute that must be why everyone went shopping the day before. Ok, never mind I got it now. Sometimes libbyfish is a little slow on the uptake! Last night I watched the worst movie ever made. It came highly recommended by a friend but from now on I will take her suggestions with a grain of salt. Has anyone seen In the Cut with Meg Ryan? Let me tell you this was no You’ve Got Mail. I think I saw more of Meg Ryan’s naked body than Dennis Quaid did. Gratuitous nudity doesn’t bother me but the dialogue that went along with it was shocking. Not shocking in an “I can’t believe they just said that”, but more in a “Give me a break, that is so crap” way. It was not only the worst dialogue but also predictable as hell. Within the first ten minutes you knew where it was going, it got there very slowly as well. Trust me on this… DO NOT RENT IT you would enjoy digging your eyes out with a pair of grapefruit spoons more.
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