2004-12-21 - 2:49 p.m.

If you don’t hear from me after today, there is a very good chance that I have frozen to death on the way to the subway. Holy cats, it was twelve degrees when I left the house this morning. The kind of cold where you have to breathe out of your mouth causing you to look mentally challenged. And just to keep with that theme tomorrow I am leaving to visit my parents in Michigan where it was a balmy four degrees this morning. What happened to all this global warming crap? I say bring it on!
So Friday P and I had our Christmas together since he was leaving for the UK on Saturday. I am such a good wife to be… I bought him an iPod. While he spent the better part of Saturday packing, (I swear he packs like a chick it takes him forever) I loaded some music on it for him to listen to on the plane. These things are fantastic, now I understand the hoopla! I want one! So Saturday I made a very important decision about the kind of marriage I want to have and that is, “What’s yours is mine”. Share and share alike, I say. I will have to let him know that a huge decision was made when he gets back. Ah well
I think I saw an actual mail order bride this morning. I got on the subway this morning and of course it was balls to the walls. I look up near the door and there was a really pretty Japanese girl. The kind that looks like one of those souvenir dolls you would get at Epcot Center. Anyway, after the first stop it emptied out a bit, I got a seat and an older gentleman motioned to this girl to sit in the seat next to me. At first I just thought it was a nice gesture. But apparently they are married. She kept poking him in the stomach and then leaning in to speak to him. She whispered something about taking movies back to Blockbuster. His response was that he wouldn’t be home in time to get them back and she should just watch them again. Unfortunately mail order bride does not have a firm grasp on the English language as she kept repeating that the movies needed to be returned to Blockbuster. She must be learning English the Daryl Hannah way by watching television. She might have been heading to Bloomingdale’s. Ah well.
So I am heading out tomorrow for a week with the family. By this time next week I am sure I will have been reduced to a smiling, drooling blob. It’s not that I don’t get along with my parents, I do… but that is a whole lot of together time and P isn’t there to remind me to be nice. I can’t help it. As soon as the plane touches down I regress about 20 years, I fight with my sister, my mom and then get lectured by my dad. I didn’t go home last year so for punishment my sister says they are making me go to church with them on Christmas Eve. I haven’t been to church in years and since my sister doesn’t have to go I won’t have anyone to sit and giggle with. When we were little they always gave us the benefit of the doubt and let us sit together, about halfway through they would just snap and my sister and I had to be separated. I even tried to talk K into going with me. I thought for sure she would be allover it, I mean who doesn’t love Jesus on Christmas Eve? He is the reason for the season afterall! But alas, she is not having it either. Ah well.
That does remind me of a funny church story. One of my old boyfriends was brought up Catholic and his mom, while not a holy roller, was very religious. Skipping church on Christmas Eve just did not happen. So I got dragged along. I am not Catholic so I couldn’t take communion and was left sitting in the pew when they all got up. Right in front of me was this woman and a little boy about 3 years old. He was playing with her rosary and he asked her why there was a man stuck to a letter ‘T’ on it. She tried to explain, as basic as you can, that it was Jesus and he was on a cross. Seemed to satisfy him and he went back to playing with the rosary. When everyone returned and the priest was doing his tidying up bit the little boy stood up and started twirling the rosary around his finger and yelled, “Hang on Jesus, you’re going for a ride!” Of course I completely lost it at that point. I had tears running down my face trying to keep from laughing out loud. Then my boyfriend started and his sister started and I get the look of death from his mom. It wasn’t even me that started it! That little boy made me do it. Ah well.
Have a happy holiday and I may update while I am gone… I will need something to do I am sure!

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