2004-10-04 - 2:51 p.m.

This weekend was a bit of a blur. No, not because I was passed out drunk but because I spent most of it asleep, but thanks for assuming. I stayed home from work on Friday and P insists that I was just pulling a sicky… but believe me gentle readers, I was not well. I spent the whole of Friday in a dream state. Never before have I slept so much in one day without the aid of Nyquil. I think I may have been vertical only 4- 5 hours of the day. It was fantastic. But with all that sleep weird dreams plagued me. The sort of dreams that wake you up and make you question you sanity.
Dream number one was the sort of dream where you actually think you are awake. I woke up and was just doing what I do every morning when I get ready for work. Nothing crazy like juggling midgets, just the usual morning rituals like showering, brushing teeth, putting on my natural beauty and checking the weather. I was completely gob smacked when I woke up in bed and not the subway. I was actually a bit bitter as I was having a great hair day.
Dream number two was much more bizarre. I dreamt I was three months pregnant and had just told my parents. But that night I had the baby (sixth months early for those of you playing the home game). Except it wasn’t really a baby, it was a three-year-old Asian toddler with a crack addiction. I know it was a crack baby because it was crying and shaking like a junkie waiting for the methadone clinic to open. Also when I picked it up out of the crib, it leaned in and whispered, “Hey, I can get you crack cheap. Let me know”. I just remember thinking, “When did I take crack? Why is that kid so big and how the hell did she get a connection already?” Dream number three was a bit pervy so it’s none of your damn business!
As most of you know P is an alien. He is legal though so don’t start dialing INS… yet. Occasionally we have communication issues because of word pronunciation and accents. Actually sometimes I am like Anne Sullivan to his Helen Keller. Ok, I got way off track there so allow me to gently lead you back to where I made my left turn. This weekend we were discussing Australian soap stars that made it big, you know Kylie and Natalie. Okay, shut up, you discuss whatever you want in your house. Anyway, I said that there were several movie stars that had gotten their start on All My Children and the like. But P heard All Night Children. Apparently in the 30 seconds of silence that followed he had imagined hoards of child prostitutes that had gone on to become famous actors. Imagine that episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio; James Lipton would have his work cut out for him having to dig up the names of their first johns.
Ah, well. That is all for today. I am not well I tell you… I am just not well.

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