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2004-09-29 - 4:53 p.m.
I just had a surreal experience in the ladies room. Standing there washing my hands when this girl comes in and keeps trying to lift her leg up onto the counter, but her too tight pants are inhibiting her movement. So she gets up on the counter and tells me that she just got a free pair of those craptastic UGG boots and wants to see how they look. She then turns to me and says, “what do you think, I mean I know they are all cliché but whatever. But seriously, how do they look?” I personally think they are hideous and a waste of sheep. But I don’t think now is the time to be brutally honest so I just nod my head like a moron because if I open my mouth I am afraid I will tell her that those boots and everyone that wears them should be doused with battery acid then lit on fire. I was hoping that the UGG craze had died but apparently it will be a slow painful death with several remissions. Sigh. I may have been taped for Taxicab Confessions last night. I met up with some friends for happy hour after work and being the flake I am I had on flip flops while hurricane Jeanne was blowing through. I am leaving to head to the subway and of course it is absolutely chucking it down and my feet are soaked and sliding all over the place. Remember the old rule of inertia, a body in motion stays in motion? Well, my foot slid forward and kept going until the thong ripped right out of the bottom, therefore rendering it useless. There is no way I can walk three blocks to the subway and no chance in hell that I will walk barefoot so I hail a cab. From the second I got in he was all about the questions. Weird questions too like whether I liked poetry, would I like to hear some of his, if I ever dated a cabbie then wanted my email address. I had to ask him flat out of I was being taped for some future HBO original programming. He assured me that I was not, but I don’t have HBO, would someone keep an eye out for the episode where I am answering questions and trying to jam the thong back into the bottom with a set of keys? Is anyone else skeeved out by these Zelnorm ads? The one with the women lifting up their shirts to expose some gastrointestinal issue written on their stomachs? Every time I go to the Yahoo homepage there it is. Blah, I shouldn’t have to see that thanks.
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