2004-09-02 - 4:37 p.m.

I saw someone steal a Powerbar today.

I was getting my daily chicken sammie and at the deli we always go to there are crazy cashiers that yell next while you are still trying to get your money out to pay them. Anyway, we had a bit of a back up at the register and the guy in front of me was putting his wallet away while simultaneously reading the back of a Powerbar. I hand over my money and see him slyly slip it right into his bag of food and walk out. Just like that. I stood there slack jawed as he walked off. He literally did it right in front of the cashier and GOT AWAY WITH IT! Damn, I would be in Guantanamo on the Hudson if I tried that. Plus, I wouldn’t have had the ovaries to do it in the first place. Too much guilt and I am not even Catholic.

The Model Bomb has become a weapon of mass destruction. I am sure by Friday the men in my office will all be wearing neck braces from rubber necking. Although I have to admit I have been doing the same. The mental comparison of my legs vs. theirs is giving me a complex. While standing out in front of my building a parade- nay a herd- of coltish girls wander in. I want to go with them to their go sees (how sad that I know the lingo). Just stand in reception like I belong there and tell them I am the plus size model they called about. The Anna Nicole to their Kate Moss. But of course I will never actually do that. But it would make a good story.

Did anyone else have a giant WTF moment with Serena Williams outfit at the US Open? Talking to my dad today, who is a huge fan of tennis, and all he could talk about was her outfit. “Serena should never wear short shorts or anything really tight. That girl has an ass on her like nobody’s business.” Since my dad has retired he has turned into a catty old woman. Has this happened to anyone else? He has also started watching the lifetime channel and the food network to the point where if I call during a lifetime movie… he has to call me back when it’s over. I have tried to explain that Lifetime is “the network for Women”, but he seems to dig it. But back to the matter at hand… Who has given this girl financial backing for a clothing line? She came to play dressed like a gladiator drag queen. I am still not convinced the Williams sisters aren’t men. Can I get a confirmation from anyone out there?

previous - next